And the weird shall inherit the earth or destroy it.

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Today

My sister wants me to move a refrigerator from my brother in laws parents to her house.

I have already set up the chiropractor appointment.

Also need to have the alternator on my car checked out (battery light came on, never a good thing) and get my computer fixed.

So much to do.


BTW if a phone company routes your call through Guam, do they still get to charge you for calling Guam, even though you didn't call anyone there?

Why I hate hippies

1. They annoy me.
2. They stink when you set thier hair on fire.
3. They whine to the cops about you setting thier hair on fire.
4. They are unwashed.
5. They stink too.
6. They drive forgein pieces of crap.
7. They think the un is a GOOD thing.
8. They love france.
9. They are not funny.
10. They think they are smarter than everyone else.
11. The whole "Peace, Love, and whatever" thing.

Had a thought (shut up)

If john kerry is a big hero to the left, and an admitted war criminal who committed atrocities. Why does the left hate the military so much because they are supposedly committing many of the same attrocities john kerry claims he did?

Which Eurotrash city do I belong in?

I call extreme bullshit! 2 questions did not have the actual answer I would give so I had to approximate.

#2 the answer is "Taunt the eurotrash whenever possible"
#5 is Eau Claire.


Paris, my aristocratic ass.

You Belong in Paris

You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris. You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Army raises its enlistment age again.

Story

This is good news, it means I could finish my degree and then enlist. Or in my case, go for the officer class.

Too bad the bastard Marines won't raise thiers.

Back update (again)

The Doctor says my spine is considerably more aligned this week than last week.

Other than that, work sucks and the usual.

Stuff

Ok, things pretty much went to hell for a bit.

Earl Hoffman died last weekend and I went to his wake last Wednsday.
Got the chiropractic examination done last Friday. He does not think x-rays will be necessary, but, if there is no significant improvement he left that option open. He adjusted 2 spinal areas and 3 on my neck yesterday. They felt good for a few hours but I am happy I have an appointment for Wednsday. This may take some time, I am thinking two or three months to fix everything.

Back update

It dosn't hurt constantly now, just twinges here and there.

The numb patchs on my skin have gone away.

Still going to see a chiropractor.

Things I do when bored.

1. Write letters to people I will probably never talk to again in my head.
2. Listen to whatever song is currently stuck in my head.
3. Make plans.
4. Think up plots for short stories.
5. Think up plots for Games.
6. Try to visualize what life would be like if I didn't screw up things so much.
7. Wonder what it is like to be relationship-competent but stupid.
8. Remember things about people I care about.
9. Think about things I have to buy.
10. Wonder what it is like to be able to dance. Or sing.
11. Wonder why a personality test said I was "Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiver (ISFP) personality commonly referred to as "The Gentle Artist" ." I don't even know what that means. I don't think I am an artist.

To be fair here is the rest it said.

ISFP general

You are nature’s balm: the soothing presence who calms us when we are stressed, who reminds us of the delightful spontaneity of childhood, and who shows us how to appreciate nature and all living things. But as easily as you bring happiness to others, you can bring sadness to yourself when you fail to see your strengths, focusing only on your limitations.

ISFP when in love

Love for you is an all-or-nothing experience. Because you tend to shut out the rest of the world so you can experience love more fully, you can be vulnerable to the whims of your beloved. Devotion and flexibility are two of the most important qualities you, as a Gentle Artist, bring to a relationship. Your genuine and almost innocent expression of love can make the right person (and yourself as well) very happy. But you must make sure you have chosen a compatible mate, because once you fall in love, you are riding a roller coaster that is almost impossible to stop.

I refuse to comment.

12. Try to plan on how much money I have to save for school.
13. Try to figure out how to lose more tonnage. (310 BTW)


Good enough for now. Maybe I should actually write down some of the things I would like to say to people I won't be seeing again. I don't know. Take votes. BTW there will never be names involved.

From Nigeria to Spain.

Dear Winner

You mean, "Dear Sucker"

We are please to announce you as one of the 10 lucky winners in the Euro Millones Lottery International Email Address draw on the 28th of April due to the mixture of names and address the result was released on the 5th June,2006.

Gee, and I didn't even know I was entered. And considering my email is a friggin blind account, how in hell do they know who won?

All 10 winning addresses were randomly selected from a batch of 50,000,000 international email addresses. Your email address emerged alongside 9 others as a category 2 winner in the Euro Millones Lottery Draw.Consequently, you have therefore been approved for a total pay out of US$950,000:00 (Nine Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States Dollars Only).The following particulars are attached to your lotto payment order:
(I) Batch No: EAS/2006/ELA
(ii) Ticket No: 555-219-0015
(iii) Lucky No: 05-12-24-45-54
(iv) Ref No: TESU/PP09/8000/ROAG

Whatever.

To claim your winning prize you are to contact the appointed agent as soon as possible for the immediate release of your winnings:
MR.JACK WILLIAMS
TELMEX AGENCIA SPAIN
E-mail: telmexagencia@netscape.net

Anyone want to sign his account up for gay porn?

2. You must contact the appointed agent with your Full Names, Contact Telephone Numbers (Home, Office and Mobile Number and also Fax Number) via email to process the immediate payment of your prize.

But all that is classified info. I mean, come on, several people I call friend don't even have that much information. Come to think of it, some of my best friends don't have that information.

3. Be informed that the appointed agent will be required to swear an Affidavits of Lotto Claim and also obtain Approval Legal Clearance Certificate from the Court here in Spain which is in accordance with the European Union Financial Act 2004 on payment of International Lottery Winners.

Swear away. 'Cause you aint getting anything from me.

Please be aware that the PAYING BANK will Effect Payment Swiftly upon satisfactory Report, Verifications and validation provided by this fiduciary agent.
For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claims is processed and your money remitted to you.

Sure, right after I give you my banking info.

Once again congratulations!!!
Best regards,
Euro Millones Lottery.

Never heard of you. But I will google you later, yes I will.

International Rules Of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.


2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37seconds into "The Crying
Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.


3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his buddies.


4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail
a friend out of jail within 12 hours.


5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister
is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.


6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's
fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature
is unsuitable.


7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present
for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's
birthday is strictly optional.


8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit
stops, not the weakest.


9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,
you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may
never ask who's playing.


10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have
brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers
for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's
officially your girlfriend.


11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only
when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's
delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.


12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are
you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.


13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.


14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
Issue closed.


15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem,
you didn't see anything.


16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports"
must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports
watchers.


17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
must remain sober enough to fight.


18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last
slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.


19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better
be talking about his choice of beer.


20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend
of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.


21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while
lifting weights:
Yeah, Baby, Push it!
C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
Another set and we can hit the showers!


22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.
For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod
is all the conversation you need.

22a: If you are in the process of urinating, conversation is not to be conducted. (this is the Harvey addenum)


23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to
go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a
stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.


24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly"
just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the
fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason
for you not to nail each other again before the discussion
about
what a big mistake it was occurs.


25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable
for her to drive yours.


26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink,
lime green, orange or sky blue.


27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you
want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me,you'd know what I want!"
gets an Xbox. End of story.


28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.

How many trips can people take?

So far this year I have gone to Texas and will be going to Cape Cod.

Next year I am not sure if I am going to make it to Texas or not, but my sister is already talking about trips.

She wants everyone to go on a cruise to the caribbean. Or somewhere down there, anyway. Of course she had to get in a shot about the Weasel and I not being married yet. Of course I pointed out Weasel is not likely to get married again anytime soon (divorces are like that, I am told). As for me.. none of your damn buisness.


Talked to my sister some more. The cruise she wants to take is in 2008, but I am sure they will think of one for next year.

Time to admit it

I belive I am going to have to see a chiropractor. While my back is better, a patch of skin about the size of my hand above my knee keeps going numb. Plus I can't sit in a chair for long before I start getting twinges.

I really need to not let my hormones do my thinking for me.

Car parts

Are going to cost two hundred bucks.

Oh well.